There's nothing racist about your observations, guy. You're just telling it like it is. Your astute observations are what make me keep coming to your site. You are a decent, gentler version of Perez Hilton (who's cute but a pig). He's getting his own television show, by the way. You deserve such accolades more than he does. I won't sign my name but I will tell you I have always admired you for setting up this site and being such a humorous and thoughtful moderator. I'll also say I've always wanted to meet you!

I agree. Kudos to Louis. He's a cutie. I wouldn't mind waking up to him every morning.

Louis - you forgot to mention a couple of other female no-talents: Mariah Carey, Jennifer Lopez, Beyonce, Joey Heatherton, Geri Halliwell and Clay Aiken.

I agree with you about Mariah. She's got a great voice but she's more interested in showing her boobs and butt. Good luck with courting the gay population, Mariah. After a while, that's just nasty.

I saw J-Lo's new movie over the weekend and all I can say is it makes Glitter look like Citizen Kane.

I visited a site that trashes Louis and makes him look like the wicked witch of the west. I had no idea. I hope he doesn't take it to heart. This site is the best. Seriously, guy, just keep being honest and we will love you always. I fleetingly visit her fan sites for info but I come here again and again because you are so incredibly funny. I think Babs herself would appreciate the tongue-in-cheek humor here. And for those who don't get it, that's their problem. Honestly, you may not remember that I met you in DC at her concert and I was totally impressed and in awe. You're a funny guy and I hope you don't ever give in to the pigs who don't understand.
--B

Yes B - I met you at the DC concert too. When Barbra tours again later this year, we should all get together and go see her. My source tells me she's touring Asia and South America, but please don't tell anyone. Trixie

It's a date, Trixie. You, too, are one of my faves. I told you in DC that YOUR posts were the funniest I'd ever read by far...the suggested song lists, the "inside" info and the Emily stuff. I've learned to decipher by the writing who's who and you've got a wicked sense of humor. And as a Babs insider, I can tell you that if you put "For Barbra's eyes only" on your posts, I will avert my eyes so only she can read it.

Lost inside of you,
B

P.S. I don't mean to brag but I helped Barbra craft her last message on this site about the most powerful source of energy being the human heart. "It's capable of deep compassion and caring and when someone acts out of that compassion and caring, something in the world changes," I wrote. We can discuss this more on Barbra's next farewell tour, which I hear will cost $3,000 for cheap seats and go up to $15,000 for the chance to meet Barbra and feed Samantha some snausages. I could die happy if I got to feed that dog!!!!

B - post your e-mail address again and I'll send you something very interesting. You're a step in the right direction. Trixie.

Anything for you, Trix. bseraile@yahoo.com

--B

Who is this "Trix"? And why is she/it talking to my fans without permission? I notice since "she" came along, no one is asking any questions about ME although I've made myself available.

--Barbra

Hi Barbra - I have a lot of questions for you:

1) Are you going to star in Sunset Boulevard, the Musical, the Movie?

2) Are you going to record a follow up to The Movie Album, just like you did with Guilty?

3) Is Andre Aggassi really a zen master?

4) You recently talked about a "World Music" album - is this still in the works? If so, may I suggest you add a Polish Polka? Those are my favorites.

5) Is Jon Peters' peter really as big as people say it is?

6) Likewise, Elliot Gould (see #5)

7) Why don't you record a duet with Mariah Carey? You're both on the same label, it shouldn't cost too much!

8) Since you write about 2.5 songs a decade, are you working on some for the 2000's?

9) Is Don Johnson's johnson as big as people say it is?

10) Likewise, Richard Baskin (see #9)

Thanks in advance, Lulubelle.

PS - I have no idea who Trixie is, but she's a bitch.

I was thrilled and delighted when I logged on today and saw these questions. Malibu is a very sleepy town in August. If you subscribe to "People" magazine, you'll see that Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie have stolen the spotlight from real divas like me. I am truly sick of them. They cannot hold a note like I can. They cannot emote like I can. They are skeletons with skin as far as I'm concerned so thank you for thinking up questions that are most important.

1. I am not sure I want to star in "Sunset Boulevard." A movie about an aging actress hits too close to home. Remember the scene where Gloria Swanson was ready for her close up? I'm not sure I'm ready for that in the age of high definition TV. I looked in the mirror yesterday and I noticed a wrinkle on a wrinkle as well as a fourth chin. Time can be so cruel.

2. I've considered a sequel to my "Mirror Has Two Faces" album but I can't find any songs that are more obscure. I was spooning with Jim the other night when the movie "Pscyho" suddenly came on the TV. The stabbing scene with Janet Leigh had some melodic moments and I wondered out loud whether I could add some lyrics to it. I couldn't.

3. Andre is indeed a zen master. All I could think about while watching him were BALLS. Tennis balls, of course. I love watching them bounce. Balls are so impotant to me.

4. World music is also important. I recorded "Barbra Streisand and Other Musical Instruments..." to illustrate my appreciation for other cultures. But that question remains so I will move on to question 4.

5. Jon Peters is giant, I am not sure what you mean. His ego is giant. His hair was giant in the 70s. He styled a giant curly hairstyle for me in "A Star is Born" so I kinda resent the question. If you are talking about his giant manhood. Giantness doesn't matter to me now that I'm with Jim.

6. Elliot had a problem. I was glad to see him get a role as Monica's and Ross's dad on Friends. He wasn't giant (if you know what I mean) so I had to divorce him but if truth must be told, Jim has helped me reach "higher notes."

7. Mariah presents a lot of problems in the recording world. She has a good voice, but she thinks her boobs are more important. I saw her on the Carson Daly show (see YouTube) when she went nuts, and I realized I must stay away from her.


8. I only write songs when I am inspired and I just wrote a song called "Peach Cobbler." It is a lawsuit song that I will sing when I bring my homebuilders to court for NOT painting my house the correct color.

9. I am still ready to kill Melanie Griffin. Don't ask me questions about Don.

10. He's big. Whenever you're eating a Baskin Robins float, imagine an overripe, oversize, freaky banana.

Thank you Barbra for giving us the truth. It all comes down to truth, doesn't it? I'm so glad that you look for the truth in everything you do. Love, Marty

Marty?!? Exactly who owns this site? I thought I was resonding to Trixie, you know what I mean?

As Barbra's longtime manager, it is my duty to control her image on every web site in the world. So, yes, I can post here too. Love, Marty.

Hi Barbra, I thought up a few more questions:

1) What REALLY happened to Anne Francis' part in Funny Girl? She has 3rd or 4th billing, but her role basically amounts to a cameo.

2) Did Elvis give you a manicure in Las Vegas, as reported in James Spada's book?

3) Boxers or briefs?

4) Is Louis's louie really as big as people say it is?

5) Did you date Rod Stewart?

6) Is Rod's Rod really as big as people say it is?

7) Are you going to return to Broadway soon? I need to make reservations for a weekend in New York and would love to see your show, but you need to announce it so I can know which dates to go.

8) In Hello Dolly, EJ Peaker plays a goofy sidekick. Was she just as goofy in real life? She seems to be. And what ever happened to her? Do you still keep in touch?

9) On your album, Butterfly, you sing a song called "Love in the Afternoon". Is that based on a true story - please dish!

10) On the cover of your album, Higher Ground, you look like a nun. Have you ever considered joining a convent?

Thanks in advance, your Lulubelle.

Oh Babs a new fun here! First of all I have to say that I really enjoyed everything in here, especially the question u answered, and hope to see more. I also must say that Im very sorry that you didnt consider of coming to Athens too during your European Tour... I d be thrilled to spend 2 months salary so that i can watch you live. Please when you plan your Asian Tour consider that Greece is missing you and change it into an asian country so it can be included in your schedule

Trully yours

PS. After all the comments I read in this blog I finnaly got to listen to "Emily" for the first time yesterday, although I purchased the Movie Album as soon as it got to the music stores here... Simply Divine, you should consider having it as an open act, really...

Your Greek Friend

--Ted
<mailto:theod971@yahoo.com>

Dear Barbara,

I am Asian fan from Asia! Namaste! Mabuhay! Sawasdee! If you came to Asia, will you visit India also? Because the traffic is terrible. But English is the best here, so you will enjoy the singing exercise and no need to translate your greatest hits and the movie album "Greatest Hits Volume 2" to Hindi and transform you and the listening audience full of stressfulness. Do you like Indian music? How about Indian men? Because you feature Indian version of "I've Got Music" in "... And Other Musical Instruments" so I ask this sensitive question to you.

Thank you. I look beyond for your singing exercise in Asia with the atmospheric height of price tags.

Love,
Paciano
"I love Shakespeare"
--Paciano
<mailto:paciano65@yahoo.com>

Hi Lu,

Sorry I've been absent for a few days. I was in Grandma's House recording tracks for my new album. I managed to write a lyric to the "Psycho" shower scene music and it is all about homebuilders who don't listen. One of the lines goes "Careful the things you say, homebuilders don't listen." Do you like?

Now to your questions.

1) Anne Francis's role was very distracting and the editors (NOT ME), felt that she is the kind of actress where less is better. The film was caled "Funny Girl" not "Funny Extra." I would have cut her out altogether (I mean the editors woud have), but then there wouldn't have been that glorious scene where she asked me to apologize to Zigfeld and I got to make a showstopping joke. Anne needs to remember that there are no small parts, just small people. You know what I mean?

2) I didn't read James Spada's book or any of the other unofficial bios that I have hated. Do you really believe Elvis carried around a nail file, manicure scissors, gelatin caps, pearl finger nail polish and all the other fixings that it takes to make my nails look like they do? Please listen to "Don't Believe What You Read" until you have it committed to memory.

3) Commando!

4) What is this obsession with Louis? He's a website hunk who chooses to trash me at every turn. But he attends my concerts and that's all I care about.

5) I never dated Rod Stewart. In fact, I recorded "Stay Away" on my "Superman" album just for him.

6) The answer is no, which is why I never dated him.

7) I am undecided about returning to Broadway. A rumor was floated so that I could gauge whether anyone would pay the six-figure prices I was planning to charge. No one was willing. The sad part is I had planned to design a new tour program with four unreleased pictures including one of me and James spooning. Celebrity spooning picutres are quite valuable-- you know what I mean?

8) EJ Peaker was a mystery to me. I don't keep in touch with her because, just like in the film, she had no personality. After the movie, she didn't even appear on "Love American Style" or "The Love Boat" so I think "Dolly" pretty much ended her career. She has never even shown up in a "Whatever Happened to..." in People mag so she must have ended up on crack or worse.

9) "Love in the Afternoon" is based on a very real experience I had. I knew he was a stranger, but I didn't care. We had something in common it just wasn't clear. He turned out to be Steven Brindberg.

10) You must not be Jewish if you're asking this question. I wasn't dressed as a nun. I was dressed in a Shiva outfit as though I were mourning. I didn't know it then, but I am now mourning the paltry sales of that album. In fact, I am about to go put on that outfit again in memory of an album that could have been.

I love you so much Lulubelle for caring to asking me such probing questions. Next to Rosie, you are the weirdest most wonderful fan I have. Thank you for being patient with me. I am a work in progress. So is my house. Oy.

Thank you Barbra for answering my questions. I posted some similar questions on Judy Garland's site and she still hasn't answered them! You're the best. Love, Lulubelle.

Judy hasn't answered because she is, how shall I say it? Dead! If you want to talk to her we must hold a seance.

I have been a browser of this incredible forum, and now I must post my first questions to Barbra! I think it is so great that Barbra takes time out of her busy life to respond with emotion and psychological depth.

So here are my questions...

1) Did you enjoy working with the ultimate disco diva Donna Summer, who kind of 'outsang you' back in the recording studio in 1979?

2) Is it true you were in a jealous rage and pushed her off the barstool she was sitting on during the recording and you paid her 'mega-money' for her to say 'she lost her breath and fell off the stoll' in recent interviews?

3) Do you find your music of the 90's and the 00's as depressing and dreary as your fans do?

4)How much money did you need to be convinced duetting with Kim Carnes was a good idea ?

5)Same as #4, only this time - duetting with Celine Dion?

6) Same as #4 , only this time - duetting with Vince Gill?

7) Can you picture Meryl Streep in SUNSET BOULEVARD

8) Can you picture yourself in SUNSET BOULEVARD?

9) What ever happened to Lauren Frost?

10) Can you fix me up with Louis (I heard he's a hunk!)?
--Call Me MIss Ross