Louis - did you take this picture in person? I assumed you were in London/Dublin for the concerts because you haven't updated your site for a while. I hope you got some fried cheese while you were in Europe. We all know how much you love it.

Does this idiotic running cheese joke ever end? It is SOOOOOOO STUPID!!!!
--pj

Is "pj" a new delicious type of fried cheese?

This is such a classic pic of Barbra singing with her hand behind her and her butt sticking out. She's done it a million times. It always looks like she's singing "Baby Got Back" and is about to spank herself.

To obtain this "cheesy" hair effect, you brush your hair forward and put extensions in the back. I think Sir Mix-A-Lot is her hairdresser.

actually for a 65 years old she looked pretty good and i was 10 feet away from her at dublin

I did not reduce myself and travel to Europe to see her again. NO WAY! NO HOW! I've seen her 5 times now and don't think I can handle anymore. I do plan, however, to attend her funeral.
--Louis
<http://www.kingweb.net/irrguid.htm>

Louis..
You are soooooooo disgusting ....I have already tried to imagine what YOU look like but even the attempt looked horried and trust meit also smelled rotten...shit,maybe?? pus???? I don't know....

Louis looks like the stay-puff marshmallow man and he smells like fried cheese. I know - I was standing next to him at the Barbra concert in London while he was waiting in line to buy lots of over-priced merchandise. When I said to him - "Hey Louis" - he realized he had been recognized and he scampered away - I'm sure he went right to the snack bar.

I lost my dentures while singing along to "When The Sun Comes Out."

When the teeth came out, for sure . . .
--Paciano

It's too quiet on this site. I hear crickets and see tumbleweed.

Hi everyone. Barbra here. I decided I would use this site to issue my latest Truth Alert. I just returned from Europe and found that the construction on my new house is not going as planned. For example, I wanted the walls in the powder room to be "peaches and cream" and they painted them "peach cobbler"! You know that those painters will never work in Mailbu or California ever again. To that extent, I had to move James, Kim, Marty, Jason, Roslyn and Renata into the Four Seasons while construction begins on a new house. Yes - I was so outraged over the "peach" confusion, I had them tear down the house and start from scratch - wouldn't you? Anyway, while all that is going on, I've decided to record a new album and tour Asia and South America. The new album will be a greatest hits package combining the greatest hits from my greatest hits albums. The album will include: People, The Way We Were, Evergreen, Happy Days Are Here Again, Somewhere, Children Will Listen and You Don't Bring Me Flowers. Please buy as many as possible - I need to cover the cost of the reconstruction as a result of the "peach incident". Oh yeah, I will also be touring Asia and South America. I hope to have many new items for sale during this new tour. I've even allowed one new photo to be included in the program! Everyone will want to have one of these, so I expect the demand to be high. Please understand that the price will be at least $50. I'm so excited to see other parts of the world and spread my cheer and goodwill. Oh yes, a percentage of the cost of the ticket will go to my foundation. Love, Barbra

PS - see you soon in Asia and South America!
--Barbra
<mailto:barbra@barbra.streisand.com>

I wept when I read about the "peach incident." This is the most horrific news I've heard EVER! Forget about collapsing bridges in Minnesota. You should record a new version of "Don't Believe What You Read" that musically captures the horror of how "peaches and cream" can be mistaken for "peach cobbler." Or maybe a movie about it is in order. Those painters deserve to die. How dare they! Forgive me, but I am weeping again as I pull out my checkbook to empty my bank account into your foundation. I will leave as much money as I can in the account but I will keep enought that I can see you in Asia and South America. Will you sing "People" there? Please tell me you will. Also, I will buy advance copies of the $50 program because the picture you release is surely suitable for framing. I have a space on the living room wall of my squalid home where I can hang it. I'm so glad you chose this site to release this valuable information, even though I thought you owned this site. I get much more up-to-date infor about you here. Barbrastreisand.com is a little behind the times because if I remember correctly, it still lists your 1972 concert at the Forum under "breaking news." Your new "Greatest Hits" album sounds like a must-have. Since it will have no new songs, I will appreciate that they are in a different order than you other "greatest hits" packages. You are so talented and clever when it comes to arranging old songs in a new way. Thanks again for all the cheer and goodwill you spread. I hear the people of Dublin are still talking about your concert there.

Thank you for your kind words. I can also now reveal that I have decided to add an additional track to my new Greatest Hits album - Smile. However, it will only be available at McDonald's with the purchase of a Big Mac. If you buy the album from a regular store, you will not get the bonus track. I will issue additional truth alerts soon, so please keep watching this space.

Love in the Afternoon, Barbra
--Barbra
<mailto:barbra@barbra.streisand.com>

Funny stuff here. Ya know--I used to hate this site, but now that I have tasted the fruits of the Streisand and Friends message board, I totally understand this site's purpose. The "fans" who post on the Streisand and Friends site have redefined what a fanatic really is. UGH! And Matt Howe as the moderator is way out whacko. I was booted from the group because I suggested that Barbra's childhood was not so tragic, that is was but a pimple on the forehead compared to other tragic star's lives. The members freaked out! So, even though I am not crazy about photos of Babs bound and gagged, and am still a fan, I see Streisand in a different light: she is greedy and ungrateful, charging the European fans even more to get a glimpse of her from afar. She doesn't need the money, and doesn't mind siphoning her fans' wallets while she and her hubby take a grand, all expenses paid trip through Europe. It's ridiculous. She has also made idiots of her fans. They protect her as of she were a child--she's a freakin' BILLIONAIRE, A SUPERSTAR, and yet she has them convinced that she needs to defend her, as they shell out thousands to see her. MAN!

I'm the author of the message 3 posts up. I, too, love Barbra and her talents. This site is a reality check for me. I laughed so hard at 4 posts up that I couldn't help but respond. Trixie, Louis and Lulabelle are amazingly funny and insightful people (who need people). I may criticize her, but I've spend thousands of dollars seeing her concerts.
--Brian

Hi - Barbra again. Yes - I will be singing People on my new tour. I have new intoduction to it too. I thought I'd try it out here:

"This is a true story: While we were flying back to Malibu after my European tour, I was relaxing in the first class on the airplane and listening to the music provided by the airline. I heard the most wonderful song and it was sung by a terrific singer. I couldn't reach the airplane magazine with the music guide in it, so I called the flight attendant over and asked her 'who's singing that song and what's it called?'. She told me that it was me and the song was called 'People'!' Can you believe it?

So, yes, I will be singing People on my Asia/South America tour. I hope to see you all there. As you can tell, I'm working hard on making sure that the new tour is much different the previous ones.

Love with all the trimmings, Barbra
--Barbra
<mailto:barbra@barbra.streisand.com>

I'm most horrified that you were relaxing in first class when you got the news. It's bad enough that you have to fly commercial and were listening to airline-approved music. How dare anyone decide what music you will listen to. I hope the flight attendents didn't look at you. This is not allowed.

These posts are hysterical, as is this site. I'm a Barbra fan, but there's a lot of truth in what is posted here. Keep the laughs coming...

Grandma's hands are what keep the laughs coming. She played a tambourine so well.

Emily plays a tambourine. She also sings "Evergreen" in the privacy of her own home that Barbra built.

I have been eating at McDonald's every day in anticipation of the new CD. I've gained 50 pounds but it is worth it so that I can have a new greateest hits CD with "Smile" on it. I can't get enough of that song. Please name your Asia/South American tour "SMILE." It would mean so much to Charlie Chaplin even though he is dead and the song sucks.

I have been eating at McDonald's every day in anticipation of the new CD. I've gained 50 pounds but it is worth it so that I can have a new greateest hits CD with "Smile" on it. I can't get enough of that song. Please name your Asia/South American tour "SMILE." It would mean so much to Charlie Chaplin even though he is dead and the song sucks.

Hi Barbra - when you get a chance, would you please give me a call? I need to ask you a few things. Thanks. Lulubelle - 702-598-4277

Hi Lu - I'd love to call but phoning to the 702 area code from Malibu would incur long distance charges that are not in my budget. In my show, I had an "Ask Barbra" segment for fans like you. Apparently, you did not take advantage of it. So you can ask me questions here on this site. If they are of a personal nature, just type "For Barbra's Eyes Only" and I'm sure no one else will read it. It will be just between us. That's the magic of the internet. Please note that if a question annoys me, I may respond like I did in New York when some evil non-fan kept yelling things at me. I was using my constitutional right to free expression and he chose to use his constitutional right at the wrong time. I'm a Brooklyn girl and though I've grown very refined over time, I'm still from Brooklyn. I'm a work-in-progress, you know. Please keep that in mind as you phrase your questions to me. The people building my new home learned this lesson the hard way. I was so overcome with rage that I will never eat peach cobbler again, although it once was my second passion after Blackout Cake and Vanilla Bean ice cream. Gotta run now. I'm having a craving for a boiled egg and as I told Oprah, it takes 30 minutes to make one of those. After eating the egg, I'm going to spoon with Jim.
--Barbra

FOR BARBRA'S EYES ONLY!!!

Thanks for getting back to me so soon. Even though I'd rather talk on the phone, here's a couple of my questions:

1. Are you ever going to record a duet with Dolly Parton or Shania Twain or Mariah Carey or Willie Nelson?

2. I'm thinking of building a house here in Tennessee and am concerned about the time it will take. I know you had problems with peaches, but I intend to do my house in paisley, so I doubt I will have the problems you had. What do you think?

3. I loved your album - "A Love Like Ours". I think it's the best thing you've ever recorded. Any plans for a sequel?

4. Why do you post so many things on this web-site and not your own (barbranews.com)?

5. Which biography about you is the best one to buy? I know Louis likes the Italian one, but I can't read Italian.

6. Is it hard to sing like you do?

7. What's your brother Sheldon up to? We never hear anything about him anymore.

8. Did you really make a porn movie in the 60's? If so, where can I purchase a copy?

9. Have you ever met Louis?

10. Do you still talk to Omar Sharif and Ryan O'neil and Nick Nolte?

Thanks in advance. Love, Lulubelle.

Barbra here. Oh my God, Lu. You are such a question box, you know what I mean? I will try to answer your questions one by one. Forgive me if am not as forthcoming with answers. Remember, I am having a house built and my time is consumed with delegating.

1. I no longer do duets. Josh Grobin pissed me off with his deep, sexy, on-key voice. How dare he outshine me. I might do a duet with Willie Nelson if he will ever stop smoking pot. He tells me he smokes the stuff while he's listening to "Lazy Afternoon." I did not record that song for that purpose.

2. Do NOT do your house in paisley. In Tennesee, they will think you are pandering to Brad Paisley. He's a hunk but he never mentions me in his list of people he thanks on his CDs. I hate that.

3. There will be no sequel to "A Love Like Ours." My marriage to Jim requires no sequel.

4. I post stuff on this site because I want total saturation. I'm a brand. Get used to it. Name your child "Emiy."

5. The best bio on me is the one on Barbrastreisand.com. It includes all my accomplshments while ignoring all my affairs. I'm a slut but I prefer that you not mention that.

6. It's not hard to sing like I do. Just undestand how much money you're making per minute and suddenly you can sing like a bird. In the (unpaid) shower, I sound like fingernails on a chalkboard.

7. I don't know what Sheldon is up to but I do know he can't sing so he's selling real estate on Long Island. He and I attended a seance for our dead father and that was the last I heard from him.

8. I didn't make a porn movie. The woman in that picture had stubby hands. Mine are manicured and luxurious. I saw the film and I am still trying to locate the penis. It was pretty giant.

9. I don't know Louis. I wish I did. I saw him in DC and I was in awe of his muscles. He was shy and quiet.

10. Omar, Ryan and Nick are all a part of my past. I only talk to them when they want an egg for breakfast. It takes 30 minutes to make an egg as I told Oprah. She said it take 3 minutes but I didn't believe her. She is a talk show queen not a cooking queen. I secretly hate her. I only went on her show because I had a movie to promote. She was such a bitch. Rosie had caviar in the Green Room. Oprah had Ginger Snaps.
--Barbra

PS Lu. Are you my Number One fan like in the movie "Misery"? If so, please stop writing to me.

Barbra here again. Now that I've finished my European tour, I am on this site responding to questions. I would so love to get feedback about how much you all adored my tour and what improvements I can make in Asia and South America that would make you adore me more. I know my voice has gotten deeper (critics called it "smoky") and there's little I can do about that. I blame the octave drop on all the yelling I've done at the people building my new house. Please continue to write to me here and if the questions are personal, make a note of it. It will be just between you and me.
--Barbra

I can't believe how many stupid people actually believe Barbra comes to this site.

Well, you're stupid and you come here.

Barbra - don't let them get to you. I thank you for answering my questions. You are the greatest. Forever yours, Lulubelle

You're stupid too, fat bitch!

You must be talking about Louis being a fat bitch - like I said, I saw him at the Paris Barbra concert and you are right - he's fat. He does eat fried cheese very sexy though - he lets the gooey stuff drip down his chin onto his shirt. OOoooohhh, I need to go watch porn!

People! No need to get nasty. Please love one another. I believe that the most powerful source of energy is the human heart. It's capable of deep compassion and caring and when someone acts out of that compassion and caring, something in the world changes. A volunteer in a homeless shelter or an AIDS hospice, a reader to the blind -- they may not make the history books or even the six o clock news but in their quiet way they help repair the broken pieces of the world.
--Barbra