THE EMANCIPATION OF BARBRA

 

Review of STREISAND Special Guest Il Divo

(Wachovia Center, October 4, 2006)

 

As I drove from Washington, DC, to Philadelphia, it dawned on me that this would be my fourth Barbra concert.  Previously, I had seen her twice in 1994 in Washington DC, and once on December 31, 1999 in Las Vegas.  While I had enjoyed her shows in 1994, I honestly thought her 1999 Millennium Concert was the most over-produced concert tragedy anyone could hope to witness.  Actually, I have ranked it as the second worst concert I have ever attended (the absolute worst was Madonna’s Drowned World Tour).

 

So, it was fitting in Vegas that a man a few rows in front of me took a dump right in his chair.  To this day, I still can remember that nasty stench.  Ironically, my first stop upon entering the Wachovia Center on October 4, 2006, was the men’s room.  Because there was a lot of cruising going on at the urinals, I went to one of the stalls for some privacy.  As I urinated (I am human, after all), I couldn’t help but overhear what was happening in the stall next to me.  Some poor man was emptying his bowels in the most vile manner.  I could hear the sounds of splattering diarrhea and uncontrollable gas.  When I caught a whiff of it, my eyes watered and I saw the entire Vegas Concert flash before my eyes.  Could it have been the same man?  Oh well, at least this time, it was happening in the bathroom.  I took it as a good omen.

 

After that I headed to my seat.  I was in the 8^th row center stage.  It was the best seats I have ever had to one of her concerts.  At least here I was sure to get some air conditioning.  I never forgot how hot it was in her prior concerts (reportedly, she would turn off the a/c in order to not dry her vocal cords).  Since heat rises, it always became unbearably hot at my other concerts (I sat near the top).  This time, I was sure to stay cool.  It was another good omen.

 

Since I was early, I got to watch people come in.  It wasn’t anything like Noah’s Ark.  When Noah summoned the animals, they arrived in pairs and each pair had one male and one female.  Barbra’s Ark is quite different.  As the masses arrived, they also did so in pairs.  But for some odd reason the pairs were mostly male-male or female-female.  There were very few male-female pairs.  Go figure.  Could someone explain this to me? Midst all of this, Rosie O’Donnell arrived.  I decided that was also a good omen.

 

The concert was scheduled to start at 7:30.  After a 25-minute delay, the lights dimmed and the overture started.  It was the Funny Girl theatrical overture.  Once this came to an end, a woman walked onto the stage.  She was in a glitzy dark sailor suit.  I looked twice.  Could it be?  I remember thinking, “that can’t be her”.  But the page cut was undeniable, so was the face.  It was like seeing Barbra’s head on Roslyn Kind’s body.  Indeed, the once-slender diva is now –how will I put it—well, heavier.   All right, she’s FAT.  Some people get the fat in the right places.  Not Barbra.  She has fat in places I didn’t think people got fat. And what happened to her butt?  Good Heavens! Even her once long slender hands now look stubby.  Still, it was unmistakably her.  I guess she ate her personal trainer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What DID NOT Work

 

Ø      The Getups.  When you’re fat, it is hard to find clothes that make you look good.  The little sailor suit of the first act and the shredded curtain of the second act simply did not work.

Ø      Less in Not Always More.  I think it was good that some of the excess spectacle was done away with (no fireworks this time!).  But still, at these prices you have to have some spectacle and glitz.  This is the single most expensive concert ever.  And all people got was an orchestra, a boy band, a simple stage, a lighting system, and a fat diva.  It’s not enough at these prices. 

Ø      Song Selection and Order.  Because the entire concert basically consisted of straight-forward singing, it was hard to tell where in the concert things were.  When she sang her finale, most didn’t realize the concert was near the end.  The songs don’t flow well in some instances and the transitions were not always smooth.  There were also a few bad song choices.  A Cock-eyed Optimist???  Puh-lease!  This show seemed more like a try-out than a final, polished product. 

Ø      George W. Bush.  The last thing I wanted to see in the middle of a concert is a lackluster comedy routine with a W look-alike.  If you’re going to do it, hire a great script writer.  This guy looks just like Bush (uncanny resemblance, actually), but the script was silly.  Good idea, but poor execution.

Ø      Shoeless Barbra.  Is there a reason she has to take off her shoes?  Where’s class when you need it?  I guess she’s going to keep doing it until she steps on glass or gets a fungus.

 

 

 

 

WHAT DID WORK

 

Ø      The Conductor.  It was obvious the conductor was watching Barbra every second.  She frequently lost her rhythm.  Still, the conductor would slow down or speed up as necessary.  I think using someone other than Marvin Hamlisch really improved the quality of the orchestra.

Ø      The Arrangements.  The orchestrations were simply brilliant.  These are the best arrangements I’ve heard in any of her concerts.

Ø      Less Dialogue.  Shut Up and Sing.  In particular, I was thrilled not to have to hear about “papa”, about her husband or about her struggles to be successful.

Ø      Sound Quality.  I must point out the sound quality was the best I have ever heard in any live performance, including Broadway.  Kudos to the engineers who made it possible to hear every instrument and each singer. In addition, they did a great job setting the volumes for Barbra and Il Divo so that they wouldn’t drown her out.

Ø      Il Divo.  Surprisingly, the quartet worked well in this setting.  There are no Luciano Pavarottis in this group, but they definitely can sing.  Because Barbra’s voice has deepened, it was easy for her to harmonize with this group of tenors.

Ø      The FAT Jokes.  Barbra joked about being fat and eating constantly.  Loved it!  She should always be fat and joke about it.

Ø      The Voice.  To my surprise, Barbra sounded a lot better than she did in 1999.  She will never sing like she did in the 60s or 70s, but she chose songs that she could handle.  And she could hold her notes longer than she did in 1999 or than she did in One Voice.  These extra beats helped many of the songs.  Granted, the engineers did wonders for her voice, but still, in the end, only she has the sound she does.  While others have the same technology at their disposition, none sound like this.  Granted, Celine and Eder have bigger pipes, but Barbra offers a unique, distinctive sound.  So, with a little help of her engineer friends, she can still put on a show.  BTW, she was really in tune.  Gone were many of the dreadful clinkers I heard in 1999.

 

 

 

SUMMARY

 

 

Overall, Barbra seemed much more relaxed than I had ever seen her before.  Gone were the efforts to be thin, the overproduction, and the need to be in every scene.  She seems free from these hang ups.  It’s as if the extra pounds, the bulging spare tires, the saddlebags, the sagging boobs, and the niblets have completely emancipated her. It’s the power of fat.  And like Maria Callas, her voice sounds better in her fat phase.  With some work, the show should improve as the tour continues.  I’ll know in about two weeks (I will be at the DC concert).  

 

ON A SCALE OF 1-10:  8