1. South Park's Trey Parker & Matt Stone

   The overrated duo from SouthPark recently "dedicated" an episode to Barbra called Mecha-Streisand. The inspiration for this half-hour roast was none other than the film Mecha-Godzilla. Both Trey and Matt are open about their hatred of Barbra, referring to her as a carpet-bagger, for her role in the failed "Colorado Boycott". And we thought she was petty.

   You'd think these two would get over it. But no. In the March 1999 issue of Details (the silly publication geared at teenagers who can read -- I'll give it another 3 months before it goes broke), the sick duo from SouthPark were again quoted as follows:

   Trey (the ugly one): "Barbra Streisand is the only one that we've ripped on that we really do hate."

   Matt (the other ugly one): "She sucks. And you can acutally have nasal sex with her: Triple penetration: oral, anal, nasal."

   Triple, indeed: sick, sick, & sick.

   UPDATE: New on video/DVD (12/99) is the Duo's movie based on the series: SOUTHPARK: Bigger, Longer and Uncut. Of course, Matt and Trey couldn't let their hatred of the Diva go by unnoticed in this turkey. In the movie, Cartman (the fat one) watches an "R" rated movie and begins cursing more than the norm. As a result, he gets a chip implanted in him that shocks him everytime he utters something truly foul. At the end of the movie, the chip malfunctions and gives Cartman the power to shoot lightning bolts -- the more foul the word, the more voltage. To defeat his evil underworld enemy, Cartman aims and utters the two filthiest words he knows: "Barbra Streisand". And boy, when he says them do those lightning bolts light up the screen. Now please, obsessed fans, don't rush out and buy it just to have these two words, the movie is simply not worth it.

2. www.weirdlinks.com

   One of the most interesting websites on the net, Weirdlinks has a dislike for the plastic Diva. In the webmaster's own words (on his daily log dated 9/3/03): "I used to like Barbra Streisand and her music a LONG TIME AGO, but have since given away all the CDs I owned. Why? Well, what cooled me on her was her history of petty, frivolous lawsuits suing people for this and that, as well as her in-your-face politics. I dislike people who use their money and influence to promote their personal agenda. It's a vulgar abuse of power. Her latest frivolous lawsuit involves a guy who made a wonderful website of the California coastline, mile by mile. Just so happens Streisand's Malibu house (looks more like a goddamn lockdown) was in one of those frames, so she's suing him for millions of bucks for putting a picture of her house on the Internet. I mean that is just plain being nasty. Other people's houses appear in his coastline photos as well and have they sued? The purpose of the guy's website is about the COASTLINE -- not about HER. But she says it violates her right to privacy. Well, get a clue Miss High and Mighty, when you become a famous person you give up certain luxuries every day Joes have, one being privacy! That's the price you pay for all those millions in the bank! Moral: People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones."

3. Monica Lewinsky

   This one obviously has trouble keeping her mouth closed -- at the White House or elsewhere. (Just a second here while I regain my composure--just mentioning her makes me feel dirty.) Well, it seems that America's First Slut now has it out for America's First Diva. According to a major newspaper, Lewinsky (sans "Miss") had some harsh words for Barbra (actually very fitting ones for this page): "I hate her... she's so annoying... she's probably had everything done but her nose..." Why, oh, why would this child have it out for Barbra? It's anyone's guess, given that the two have not met; however, my instincts tell me it has to do with the Presidential Chase. I guess it's hard to face the facts: he chased after her, while you crawled to him on your knees...

4. Tom Selleck

   Tom is the only Man with the Balls to say, "SHUT UP, BARBRA". Since then, Tom's only successful movie role has been a secondary one opposite Kevin Kline in In and Out. In this feature, Mr. Selleck plays a gay, sleazy reporter after the story of an outed teacher. Reportedly, to land this role, Tom had to agree to kiss Kevin Kline and shave his moustache (could Barbra have been behind this?). Ironically, the role Kevin plays is a man who worships Barbra Streisand, but somehow hasn't figured out that he's gay.

5. Ted Casablanca

   The E Online gossip has been tossing dirt at the Diva for some time now. In the last dish I read, he referred to her as that Malibu maven, Barbie. And Ted, hon, what should we call you? For that matter what should we say about you? Well, I've got something on you that will make my reader's skin crawl. According to my sources, Mr. Casablanca is also the ex-Mr. Fierstein. As in, Harvey Fierstein. EEEEEK! For those who don't know Harvey, he appears in Independence Day. No, he didn't play the role of the President nor Major Mitchell, instead he was the fruity guy who was hiding under the desk calling his mother. It is this gentlemen who kept Ted Casablanca warm all over for about three years. Now really Ted, talk about having skeletons in the closet (and hideous ones at that)...

6. Bette Midler

   Let's face it, Bette. Barbra sings better, has more stage presence, more screen presence, and yes, Barbra is prettier. End of discussion.

   Oh dear, the Divine Miss M is getting yet another blow to her ego dealt by the boney hands of the Belle of 14th Street: see the story on The 1999 News Page called Dump the Trash...

   UPDATE: Well, it seems Bette had the last laugh after all...see the Divine Revenge story on the 2000 News Page.

7. Cher

   Cher never forgave Streisand for taking A Star Is Born away from her. Cher (reportedly fuming at the loss) screamed, "What does she [Barbra] know about rock'n'roll?" Well, as much as you do Cher. Still, the movie went on to become Barbra's biggest success. Cher might have gotten over it, except that a decade later, Streisand would snatch Nuts away from her. Now really, Cher, you should thank her for that.

8. Rex Reed

   Now if anyone can beat Barbra, Madonna and even Kathleen Battle for the title of "Primadonna", it would have to be Rex Reed. Like they say, "He's the best man for the job." Rex has spent years panning every Streisand product which comes to light. And why? Diva-envy, I suppose.

9. Charlton Heston

   Barbra Beware!!! This one was has been driven to the point of challenging you to a public debate! And why? Because you believe in gun control and he doesn't. In his youth, Charlton became a star by playing such coveted roles as Ben-Hur and Moses in The Ten Commandments. Later as his career faded into oblivion, Charlton was reduced to starring in films such as The Planet of the Apes. It appears the latter really had a lot of impact on him. I mean, it takes the manners of an ape for a man of Charlton's advanced years to publicly challenge a lady to a public debate. Well, maybe he doesn't think you is no lady...

10. Elliot Gould

    The first Mr. Barbra Streisand (pre-Jim Brolin) still hasn't forgotten about his famous ex. You'd think, though, that given they have a son in common, he would have the courtesy of refraining his tongue. But no. The latest from Mr. Gould, as reported by the NY Post: "Barbra Streisand is a Marie Antoinette, because she is unaware of the facts of common existence. It's the danger of believing you're larger than life. Nobody is bigger than life."

The Irreverent Guide to Barbra Streisand wishes to thank the following sources of inspiration for this web page... On second thought, maybe not.

Please note that this site is neither maintained nor supported by Barbra Streisand or her management. Furthermore, The Irreverent Guide to Barbra Streisand is not an official or unofficial newsletter or publication related to or endorsed by Barbra Streisand, Barbra Joan Streisand, Barbara Streisand, Babs or her fan clubs.